July 2nd

Everywhere I've gone for the past couple of days, people have asked, "So what are you doing for the Fourth?"  I say I'm going to a party at a friend's house, and then they tell me about their fireworks or travel plans.

But I'm not feeling all that festive.  Six years ago today, my Dad shot and killed himself. 

It's still hard.  And it's mingled for me, possibly forever, with the sound of fireworks going off two days later, while I was still in shock.  Every time there was a loud bang or pop, I could see that gun going off.  It was bad.

Weird, huh?  The anniversary effect. 

If you have weird things in your life--weird anniversaries of horrible or sad things--please do honor them.  Be kind with yourself when they roll around.  Time might not completely heal all wounds, but it does buffer them eventually.  For me, July 2nd is easier now than it was the first five times it rolled around after my Dad's death, but it's still not easy.

I'm thinking about my Dad today, and I sure do still miss him.  Time doesn't change that. 

Everybody, please love the people you have while you have them.  You never know when they'll be gone.